Two Blokes Down Undah!
A dialogue between a drongo, and a layabout told entirely with Aussie Slang:
By Abigail Strauss
“G’day mate, did I jus catch ya harrumphin’? I wouldn’t wear that in a blackout, that’s for sure. Rattle your dogs, pull your socks up, and have a squiz at this. It’s a corker.”
“This better be the cat’s pyjamas.”
“It’s certainly the duck’s guts. But I thought you’d be up. It’s arvo, and– are your ears painted on?”
“Fair crack of the whip. I need ta use the dunny.”
“Oh. The can, ey? Then choof off. And this better be fair dinkum.”
“Do you think me a galah?”
(Later)
“ Sorry it took yonks. Outta bog roll.”
“Did you see on the idiot box? The postie fell off his perch. The ticker stopped from shock. I heard it was his cheese and kisses who took a bingle, and he went berko.”
“Blimey, what happened?”
“Sheila almost hit some chooks, and he did a tanty. She thought he was a whinger, and told him to rack off. Preggers too.”
“Nar, get off the grass. What about the ankle biters? Certainly ain’t happy little vegemites any more, ey?”
“King oath. She’ll be apples though. Lots of granny smiths to keep them from bein’ up a gumtree.”
“Want ta take a sickie and ride the ute to bunnings for some snags?”
“Yeh. This moggie’s driving me off the wall, and I could use some tucker.”
(At Bunnings)
“Now don’t get narky with me, but I got yer some lollies for the cheese as a prezzie.”
“Crikey! You’re a shark biscuit now.”
“Don’t be devo, just me bein’ a little larrikin.”
“Look at that bloke in the ute. Truckie’s tan if I’ve ever seen one. Must have taken yonks. And the cheese cutters. Blimey.”
“And the flavor savour on that one. Must have fallen out of the ugly tree.”
“You think you’re a fitto ey?”
“Look at that esky over there. Want to veg out and have a few tinnies?”
“Nah.”
“Want to throw on some togs and sunnies?”
“For sure”
(At the Beach)
“What are ya doin’ in your budgie smugglers?”
“Wanted to give em a fair go. Brought some dog’s eyes. Want one?”
“Yeh nah. No dead horse on mine.”
“The mozzies are wild in Oz. I like your jandals. Good onya for getting those.”
“They are a dog’s breakfast though. I need to clean them. Want a bikkie?”
“Nah. Got any cut lunch?”
“Look at that kanga!”
“What’s it doing on the beach?”
“Dunno. Missus is on the blower. Got to go and pick up the kid from uni. Hoo roo.”
“Wait! You forgot your scuffs.”
“Thanks mate.”
“No dramas. Ta!”
Glossary of Aussie Slang:
Are your ears painted on? (Are you listening?)
Ankle Biter (little kids)
Arvo (afternoon)
Berko (beserk)
Bingle (little bump/crash in a car, but not much damage done)
Bikkie (biscuit or cookie)
Bloke (man/that dude)
Blimey (whoa!)
Blower (telephone)
Bog Roll (toilet paper)
Budgie Smuggler
Corker (something great)
Cut lunch (sandwiches)
Can (Toilet)
Cat’s Pyjamas (aka bee’s knees or duck’s guts)
Cheese and kisses/cheese (wife)
Cheese cutters (wheels on a car that are thin)
Choof off (go or leave)
Chooks (chickens)
Crikey (wow!)
Dinkum (real, true, not fake)
Dunny (outdoor toilet)
Dead horse (tomato sauce)
Dog’s Eyes (meat pies)
Devo (devastated, bummed)
Dog’s Breakfast (dirty, a mess)
Drongo (silly person)
Ey (sentence ending, almost asking for affirmation)
Esky (cooler with drinks or food)
Fair go (a chance)
Fair crack of the whip (give me a break)
Fell off his perch (died)
Fell out of the ugly tree (not pretty)
Fitto (healthier and more fit than average)
Flavor savour (bushy beard under the bottom lip)
Galah (silly person, idiot)
Good onya (good for you)
G’day (good day)
Get off the grass (unbelievable)
Granny Smith (hundred dollar bill)
Happy little vegemite (happy australian)
Harrumphing (hanging out at home all day in pjs)
Have a squiz (come look at this)
Hoo roo (see ya later)
Idiot box (tv)
Jandals (flip flops)
Kanga (kangaroo)
King oath (completely agree)
Layabout (lazy person)
Lollies (candy)
Larrikin (harmless prankster)
Mate (friend, buddy)
Moolah (money)
Mozzie (skeeter)
Moggie (pet cat)
Narky (upset or moody)
No drama (no problem)
Off the wall (crazy)
Oi! (hey! To get attention)
Oz (down undah!)
Postie (mailman)
Prezzie (present)
Preggers (pregnant)
Pull your socks up (improve, get better at it)
Rack off (get outta here!)
Rattle your dogs (hurry up)
Sunnies (sunglasses)
Sickie (day off work)
Scuffs (shoes)
Shark biscuit (shark food/going to get eaten alive)
She’ll be apples (it’ll be alright)
Snag (sausage)
Tanty (tantrum)
Togs (swimsuit)
Truckie’s tan (tan from someone who left their arm out the window)
Ticker (heart)
Tinnies (beer)
Tucker (food)
Up a gumtree (in a pickle, in trouble)
Uni (university)
Ute (pickup truck)
Veg out (hang around)
Whinger (someone who complains)
Wouldn’t wear that in a blackout (something you don’t want to be seen in)
Yonks (long time)
Yeh Nah (meaning yes)
Personal Note:
We may both be speaking English, but it can be almost impossible to understand the Aussies sometimes. When the slang gets thrown in, I find it hilarious, and have trouble taking them seriously. This was my favorite blog post to do, because Australian slang is so diverse and interesting.
Not all funny phrases and expressions made it into my dialogue. Here are some of my favorite terms that I didn't get to use: Brass razoo (worthless), Bucket of prawns in the sun (stinky), Dirty Bird (KFC), Dodgy Bird (any other chicken franchise), Full as a doctor’s wallet (full stomach), Frog in a Sock (going crazy, freaking out), Grumblebum (someone who complains a lot), Dish licker (someone who washes dishes), Furphy (rumor or untruth), Grease frisbee (pizza. [so true]), Happy as a tin of worms goin’ fishin’ (not happy), Harold Holt (salt!), Hooley Dooley (whoa), Mundy (monday), Noah (shark), Pickin’ a winner (digging for gold), Queensland safety boots (flip-flops!), Rip Snorter (great, fantastic), Reg Grundy (underwear), Spit the dummy (get upset), Shot Tower (toilet [bowl]), Sparrow’s guts [sparra’s guts] (asparagus), Technicolor yawn (vomit), Tighter than a fish’s bum (not very generous person), Woop woop (far away)
